Easing into Toddler Transitions
Good grief time is seriously flying! It’s flying by so fast, that I didn’t think we would have to start thinking about toddler transitions so soon. If I am being honest, we have a three-year-old, going on 23. Bauer is constantly cracking us up. She’s smart as a whip and stubborn as hell. She’s not the easiest toddler to raise (temper tantrums on the reg.), but when I think back to all the curve balls we’ve thrown her way this past year, I couldn’t be more proud. She’s handled them as beautifully as we could hope for, and I take zero credit for that because I have no idea what I’m doing.
So if that sounds like someone you want to take advice from, stick around! I’m sharing our thoughts on tackling and easing into the toddler transitions that come in full force between the ages of 2 and 3.
4 Toddler Transitions we are easing into
Big Girl Bed
Some people will tell you to keep your little one in a crib as long as possible. Others will laugh at you and say, “Yeah. OK.” I fall in the latter. Last summer (Bauer was 2.5-years-old), we took an adult-only trip to San Francisco and left the girls with my mom. Bauer thought that would be the perfect opportunity to climb out of her crib, while wearing a sleep-sack and walk down our hardwood stairs. If you’re new to this whole parenting thing let me break some things down for you:
Sleep-sack: a wearable blanket that should make it hard for your child to spread their legs far enough to climb out of a crib. WRONG.
Hardwood stairs: very slippery and not safe for a toddler wearing a sleep-sack to walk down in a zombie-like state.
So to the people that told me to keep Bauer in her crib as long as possible: that moment came literally overnight. Thankfully, we were home from San Fran the next day and didn’t have to leave my mom alone with Houdini for another night.
So here’s what we did wrong when we transitioned Bauer into her big girl bed – we left the crib in her room. We thought (bless us) that the sight of something familiar would make this transition easier. And we applauded our genius the first two nights she happily slept in her bed, and hated ourselves on the third night when the familiarly of her crib was calling her home.
Move the crib out immediately, invest in toddler rails and flip the locks. Locking your child in their room may sound harsh, but it’s for their own safety. Set them up for success by limiting what they have access to in their room – stash toys in a playroom or closet and leave the room nearly empty with the exception of stuffed animals and books. If you haven’t already fastened your dresser or other large pieces of furniture to the wall – nows the time! Ain’t nobody got time for a toddler scaling an armoire at 3 a.m.
Potty Training
We lucked out on this one. Maybe we should get a bumper sticker made, “My child rules at potty training.” Candidly, I expected the opposite. As babies, neither of our girls ever had a problem with soiled diapers. Those nasty little creatures would parade around in a 12-hour-old diaper all damn day if we let them.
We introduced a training potty right around Bauer’s second birthday. Set it up in the bathroom and gave her the option to use it, but never forced it. After a couple months she started showing interest and we busted out the M&Ms. I know some moms are hesitant to use bribery and to those moms: I applaud you. I, however, have no shame in my game. Bauer hoarded M&Ms for a couple weeks and weened herself off them on her own. Within two weeks she was completely potty trained – and with the “big kid” potty – in typical Bauer fashion, she wasn’t having it with the little potty on the floor.
While I don’t think you should tackle potty training until after 2-years-old, when they have a better chance of understanding what the heck is going on – I do think it’s important to set them up to be successful (and potty trained) before they go to a little preschool. Bauer may only be 3, but she’s super aware of how she stacks up against her peers – which is frightening. I won’t be able to shield her from the comparison game all her life, but I want to do my part on these small child milestones.
Overnight Potty Training
This is a totally different ball game. And your pediatrician most likely will tell you the same. I’m no doctor, but apparently there is something physical that needs to click for a child to be able to make it through the night without an accident – so don’t stress about nailing this too soon. We gave Bauer almost a year of perfecting her daytime potty skills before attempting nighttime in big girl panties. Some will tell you once your little one starts waking up every morning in dry pull-ups that it’s time. Well, Bauer just got lazy. She knew when she was in panties and when she was in pull-ups and homegirl just enjoyed the comfort of her bed and pull-ups every AM instead of heading to the potty. Once I realized that she was a genius, a lazy genius, I went out and bought some new “special” panties to get her excited about nighttime potty training. Again, bribery.
Bauer has a bathroom in her bedroom, so we started keeping the door cracked and nightlight on. We’d remind her about her big girl panties about 27 times between books and prayers and cross our fingers throughout the night. The first month she had two accidents – pretty damn good if you ask me.
Like the crib, I do recommend making the pull-ups disappear. We kept them in a drawer in her dresser and after a week or so she cried that she wanted them back. Out of sight, out of mind is a real thing in a toddler’s brain.
Dropping the Paci
Of all the toddler transitions Bauer’s gone through this past year, this was the hardest – on me. Something about your first baby giving up the comfort item she’s had since birth to really send you into an emotional spiral. Our dentist started talking about dropping the paci last year and I was all like, “Yeah. Cool. You’re on crack.”
In reality, I did have some concerns about her speech and lisp – and if her paci had anything to do with either. Our pediatrician (love that man), gave me a sweet smile and essentially said: Stop beating yourself up about every little thing. She’s 2. If she has a lisp when she’s 6, maybe we’ll do something about it. It’s not the paci. Let her be little.
And so I did. For another 12 months. We started limiting the paci to nap and bedtime, but didn’t stress beyond that. A couple weeks ago we started realizing that our sweet, manipulative little princess was using her paci as an excuse to get us up in the middle of the night. Homegirl could build a fort, read to her baby dolls and do a gymnastics routine in a pitch black bedroom at 12 a.m. – but lose and find her paci!? Ah, hell no. More nights than not, we’d wake to “MOMMMMMMMY…..PACI!!!!!!” And so it was time.
We cut the tip off the paci and told Bauer it was broken. We then swooped in as heroes and suggested that instead of throwing the paci away, we take it to Build-A-Bear and put it inside of a special stuffed animal so she could have it forever. Transferring (in theory) her attachment from the paci, to the bear.
A couple things to note: 1. Build-A-Bear no longer lets you do this for safety reasons. So, make sure you have a discrete person helping you to give the illusion of the paci going inside the bear. 2. Kids are smart AF. Be prepared to answer the question, “Why don’t we just go to the store and buy a new paci?”
We had a few nights of whimpering and did a little extra cuddling, but came out on the other side alive. Stay strong on this one. Once you decide to make the leap – don’t relapse.
That’s all I got, folks. We’re still figuring things out over here. And prepared for nothing but to go exactly the same toddler transitions with Kingsley as she approaches these milestones.
Memories captured by Brooke Whitney Photography.